Your humble correspondent likes guns. He is not a urban effete liberal who shrinks from the sight of blued steel. (He is an UEL who likes blued steel.) But holy christ some gun owners can drive him nuts. The gulf between common sense and common law needs a 16x 42 scope.
This week, a home on Rosemount Avenue was broken into. The burglars stole a DVD player, an antique table, and two Winchester rifles. Because rifles can be stored in carrying case or with a trigger lock or breech cable, the thieves could simply walk away with them.
Innocent reader, you may now move on. The rest of this article is for the burgled person.
Dear burgled person:
You are well within your rights to own a gun and to store it in your house in the city. It makes you—as you now well know—a target for theft, but it’s your right to be the target of theft.
You are allowed, too, to store your rifles in the most haphazard way. I see that you did that. You may have had them in a fabric sleeve under your bed or in a glass case in your living room. As long as you put a flimsy ‘lock’ on the trigger (no matter that I wouldn’t use it to secure my daughter’s bicycle), you are observing the law.
But, dear burgled, I hope you realize now that you are a vast and incomprehensible idiot. You are a moron of such breathtaking proportions that you should never have been allowed to own a handsaw, let alone a rifle. Exercising your rights has endangered all of us. You may not be a criminal, but you are criminally stupid.
You should never, ever, have a gun in the city. It’s stupid. Don’t tell me otherwise. But, if you insist, for $150, you could have bought a secure locker. For $550 (less than one of your guns) you could have bought a safe. I doubt somehow that the people who steal DVD players would know how to crack a safe. No, you weren’t required by law to store your guns securely, but you were required to by common decency.