Holy Christ, I’m mad

Your humble correspondent likes guns. He is not a urban effete liberal who shrinks from the sight of blued steel. (He is an UEL who likes blued steel.) But holy christ some gun owners can drive him nuts. The gulf between common sense and common law needs a 16x 42 scope.

fig9-2b
Yeah, that’ll stop ’em.
fig9-4
“Hey, Rocco, put the silver in this handy case too!”

This week, a home on Rosemount Avenue was broken into. The burglars stole a DVD player, an antique table, and two Winchester rifles. Because rifles can be stored in carrying case or with a trigger lock or breech cable, the thieves could simply walk away with them.

Innocent reader, you may now move on. The rest of this article is for the burgled person.

Dear burgled person:

You are well within your rights to own a gun and to store it in your house in the city. It makes you—as you now well know—a target for theft, but it’s your right to be the target of theft.

You are allowed, too, to store your rifles in the most haphazard way. I see that you did that. You may have had them in a fabric sleeve under your bed or in a glass case in your living room. As long as you put a flimsy ‘lock’ on the trigger (no matter that I wouldn’t use it to secure my daughter’s bicycle), you are observing the law.

But, dear burgled, I hope you realize now that you are a vast and incomprehensible idiot. You are a moron of such breathtaking proportions that you should never have been allowed to own a handsaw, let alone a rifle. Exercising your rights has endangered all of us. You may not be a criminal, but you are criminally stupid.

You should never, ever, have a gun in the city. It’s stupid. Don’t tell me otherwise. But, if you insist, for $150, you could have bought a secure locker. For $550 (less than one of your guns) you could have bought a safe. I doubt somehow that the people who steal DVD players would know how to crack a safe. No, you weren’t required by law to store your guns securely, but you were required to by common decency.

$550. From Cabelas. They ship.
$550. From Cabelas. They ship. You fucking idiot.

Author: Adam Norman

I am raising my two children in Weston.

4 thoughts on “Holy Christ, I’m mad”

  1. Adam, I heartily endorse your sentiments. These guns are now in the hands of criminals and will sooner or later cause unnecessary suffering to the general community. Hopefully this will inspire other gun owners to do the right thing. There is also a gun amnesty for people who would like to get rid of guns without using the services of criminals.

  2. Oh what a terrible thing — DVD players and lethal weapons available to the worst kind of idiots. I am angry too, and who knows how many people are now to pay the price of this lapse of sense and senseless lack of foresight.

    This is why we need laws, but also why we need to be conscientious enough to follow the first law for everyone, which is do no harm.

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