Mike Sullivan arrests man with tree in pants

No. I’m serious. Mike Sullivan, our MP, once put a man under citizen’s arrest. And the man had a stolen air freshener tree. In his underpants.

Sullivan related a story in the House while debating a bill on citizens’ arrests. The bill sprung out if the Lucky Moose incident in which a small-business owner was charged for putting a repeat thief under arrest.

Sullivan himself once arrested someone—none other, in fact, than the bandit who had been breaking into autos in Weston (or at least my car in Weston) quite frequently.

While coming home on a rainy night, Sullivan found a quite drunk man who had just broken into his neighbour’s car. The man attempted to flee, but Sullivan chased him down, apprehended him, and called the police. He admits that this was probably unwise (though your humble narrator thinks it’s totally cool), since he had no idea whether the drunk was armed.

The police, fire, and ambulance all showed up, and I’ll let Sullivan take it from here.

It was still pouring rain. They made him take off his coat and when they emptied it they found all kinds of stuff that he had already stolen. The bicycle was something he had probably already stolen. He had been out of jail only two days. He really wanted to go back there because it was dry and warm, and this was his way of getting back into jail and to someplace safe in the riding. He was actually, in some way, trying to be a better person because they discovered that he had put some air freshener, that he had stolen from the local drugstore, in his underwear.

Sullivan, who obviously knows a thing or two about this subject now, was making a fair comment that should not be lost in the story of our mild-mannered crime-fighting MP—the provisions of the bill, he says, will allow citizens to meet crime with more force than they are currently allowed to, even though the current laws generally work well and allow for peaceful arrests such as his. He worried that loosening the law will create more-dangerous situations.

Author: Adam Norman

I am raising my two children in Weston.

3 thoughts on “Mike Sullivan arrests man with tree in pants”

  1. “Mike Sullivan arrests man with tree in pants”

    the title of this article reminds me of a groucho marx line.

  2. I feel compelled to state that I don’t know that it was a tree-shaped air freshener. My acquaintance with air fresheners was heretofore so limited that I assumed it was tree shaped. Not necessarily so, I am informed. It could have been Spongebob Squarepants (with “Romantic aroma”), a miniature soccer ball (“fresh, clean”) , or even Einstein’s face (bubble gum).

    Your humble narrator does hope his readers will excuse this lapse in journalistic rigor.

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